Eight Legged Eviction
by Blue Obsidian Butterfly
Summary: "I know we have never really interacted before but there's a huge spider in my bedroom and usually it wouldn't bother me but it's really big can you please come and get rid of it for me?" Rizzles AU.


**Disclaimer: I don't own R &I but who's excited for season 6?**

 **A/N: This is based on a prompt I found floating around the internet. It's AU.**

Jane groans as an incessant knocking sound penetrates her peaceful slumber and pleasant dream in which her beloved Red Sox win the season. She rolls over, glancing at the clock with distain.

Three am.

They had just closed a particularly brutal case at few hours ago and she had practically fallen into her bed, having gotten barely any sleep in the past forty-eight hours. She sighs, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes. The knocking hasn't stopped, growing increasing louder as the minutes tick by, whoever is on the other side obviously not going away anytime soon. She throws the covers off, glancing down at her worn BPD shirt and running shorts before deciding it didn't matter what she was wearing at three in the freakin' morning.

She marches across the threshold, throwing the door open as she prepares to rip a new one into whoever decided to wake her up at this ungodly hour but pauses at the sight before her:

Her neighbour, a petite blonde woman is standing there wide-eyed wearing even less than Jane is and before she can process it she starts talking rapidly, Jane's tired mind struggling to keep up.

"I know we have never really interacted before but there's a huge spider in my bedroom and usually it wouldn't bother me but it's really big can you please come and get rid of it for me?" Her eyes, a deep Hazel are begging and she looks slightly desperate.

"Let me get this right, you want me to go over to your apartment at three in the morning to kill a spider for you?" she asks. Hazel eyes widen, a shocked look overtaking her expression and Jane sighs, wondering what she's missing. She's far too tired for this shit but the cop in her prevents her from simply closing the door and going back to sleep, even if it means protecting someone from a spider rather than a bullet.

"It's a living creature, you can't kill it but I really want it gone" The woman says and Jane simply stares at her.

"So no killing but you want me to evict it?" she asks, receiving a nod.

"Yes and please hurry before it moves" her voice takes on pleading tone and Jane lets out a long breath, realising she isn't getting back to sleep until the problem is under control.

"Alright" She finds herself being pulled along and she's too tired to do anything except let the woman lead her. She barely has a chance to glance at the interior of her apartment before she's pulled into the bedroom, coming face to face with a spider. It is indeed huge and if she didn't know any better she would swear it was staring at her, just sitting on the wall without a care in the world.

The woman stands behind her and remains silent during the stare-down she has with the massive beast.

"Wow" she mutters eventually.

"I said it was big" the woman replies matter-of-factly.

"Yeah but I didn't think it would be that big, that's the biggest damn spider I've ever seen. I'm going to need a weapon, have you got anything big enough to contain it?" The blonde disappears and Jane waits, unwilling to take her eyes off the spider which she names spiderzilla.

A minute later a clear plastic Tupperware container is placed in her hands before the blonde retreats to the safety of the bedroom door. She holds it by the base, fashioning it into a weapon. Thankfully she can see through the plastic and she's grateful the woman thought this through so well.

Jane approaches the spider, watching for any sign of movement. It remains stationary and she wonders if it's taunting her, waiting until she's almost on top of it before it runs away to hide behind the dresser.

Spiderzilla is braver than she gives it credit for and it doesn't move as she manoeuvres the container over it, trapping it beneath a dome of plastic.

"Got it, have you got some cardboard?" she's barely finished her sentence before the required spider evicting tool is placed in her hands and she slides it between the spider and wall, letting out a sigh of relief. Carefully she removes it from the wall, holding the cardboard with one hand and the bottom of the container with the other in a death grip.

Carefully she retraces her steps to the bedroom door and the blonde leads her back through the apartment. Their almost out the door when Jane sees a movement out the corner of her eye and she nearly jumps out of her skin when she sees the massive boulder like thing move.

The container in her hands clatters to the ground and a lot faster than anyone would give her credit for at three in the morning she snatches it up, pouncing on the retreating spider. Spiderzilla could move, she had to give it credit but it's progress is halted by the plastic and Jane can practically feel it glaring at her. She's not exactly elegant, on the ground on her hands and knees holding down a plastic container but it works so she's not complaining.

"What the hell is that?" she asks, gesturing to the thing aiding in the spiders escape with the hand not pressed firmly against the container.

The blonde looks perplexed for a moment before she sees what Jane's pointing to and she lets out a chuckle.

"That's Bass, my African spurred tortoise" she explains.

"Huh" Jane replies, not taking her eyes off the pet. She watches it for a minute and, seeing her interest the blonde goes to the fridge, pulling out a container.

"He's partial to British strawberries."

A vague noise of acknowledgement is all Jane can manage as she watches her feed the tortoise his treat.

"Great pet, real interactive I bet" she mumbles, having the good grace to look away when she receives a look in reply. `

"Can you?" she gestures to the piece of cardboard which is out of her reach and the woman quickly picks it up, handing it to her. Once again she slides it under the container, picking them both up. Spiderzilla appeared to be sulking and she gave it a warning glare as she made her way out the door, which the blonde held open for her.

They make it out of the building unscathed, her neighbour holding open the doors as she carries the makeshift spider prison. They make a pretty good team and Jane hopes she can talk the other woman into seeing her again, though hopefully at a much better hour.

"Now what do we do?" Jane asks once they arrive at the dumpster. It seemed like as good a home as any for a spider and besides, it was cold outside and she wasn't wearing any shoes so she wasn't going any further than she had to. She glances sideways at her companion who shrugs. Looking back and forth between the dumpster and container she decides, screw it and as quickly as she can she removes the cardboard, holding the container by its base as she thrust forwards.

Spiderzilla sails through the air before landing somewhere in the dumpster. Jane doesn't wait to find out where, hoping Spiderzilla doesn't decide to come back for revenge.

It isn't until their standing back outside their respective apartments that Jane remembers the container and cardboard still in her hands and she gives them back.

"Well that was interesting" she says and the blonde nods.

"Thank-you so much. I'm Maura."

"It's no problem. I'm Jane by the way" she gives Maura her best Rizzoli grin, loving the way hazel eyes light up in response.

"Nice to meet you, even under the circumstances. I should let you get some rest, would it be ok if I came over later with some coffee?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'd like that" suddenly Jane finds her throat dry and she swallows thickly, realising just how little both of them were wearing.

Noticing the way Jane's eyes linger on her Maura smiles, stepping closer.

"Then I can thank you properly for getting rid of the spider."


End file.
